It is the duty of a Christian counselor to be well informed in various areas in order to assist the client into finding their way, exploring their anger is simply another way of empowering the client. A Christian counselor can address issues of control and possibly other underlying feelings that may accompany the anger. Paul instructed in the Bible, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. ” Ephesians 4:26 (“Holy Bible,” 1973). Understanding how anger can affect and invoke underlying feelings of guilt or shame can further the counseling process.
One common constellation of feelings involves anger that makes hurt or sadness promoted by an event which then triggers feelings of guilt, shame or fear. ” (Clinton & Leaseholder, 2002, p. 212). God has created our emotions, and He can use them to heal all wounds. Forgiveness- Forgiveness is indeed a skill that can prove to be very difficult to obtain. According to the Incarnate Dictionary forgiveness is the act of pardoning somebody for a mistake or wrongdoing. Christian counselors need to help facilitate forgiveness within the family and marriage.
Forgiveness needs to be explained as something that frees you as well as being obedient to God’s Word. “Forgiveness is crucial in the process of relation ship healing and restoration. Unforeseen is also known to be a significant cause of anxiety and feelings of being threatened and prolongs trauma symptoms, social isolation, and the pain in interpersonal relationships. ” (Clinton ; Leaseholder, 2002, p. 239). Forgiveness doesn’t accept the wrongdoing, but acknowledges it and works pass the problem. Even though the offender may not have asked for forgiveness, we need to help our clients impart forgiveness because it is also for them.
Forgiveness gives our clients back their power in a sense; because when we harbor hatred it takes over our lives it enslaves us. When forgiveness enters the picture it takes away that bondage. “If we keep saying I don’t have any sin or if we fail to acknowledge our shortcomings and settle our differences with people and God, then the big one is coming. We can choose to humble ourselves; but if we don’t God will. ” (Anderson, 2000, p. 168). God teaches us that we need to forgive others otherwise our sins will not be forgiven. “Holding on to unforeseen is bad for people physically, mentally and spiritually.
We realize that we shouldn’t hold on to unforeseen but struggle with turning it loose. ” (Worthington, 1999, p. 135). Resolving Conflict- In order to resolve conflict all involved parties must agree to discuss the problem in a constructive manner. Resolving conflict Involves a SKI Tanat not everyone possesses. It Is ten responsibility of the Christian counselor to assist the couple or family to acquire these skills in order to resolve issues in a beneficial method. “Parents must listen and observe what is happening in their teenagers’ lives.
This will build a bridge of trust and communication for Just about anything. (Pipes & Lee, 2008, p. 48). Families that learn this are better equip to process problems and thus able to transition this skill into other areas of their lives. When focusing on couples Christian counselors can train the couple on resolving differences in love. Everett Worthington teaches the use of LOVE Acrostic. “L, O and E stand for skills; L for listening and repeating, O for observing your effects and E for evaluating both partners’ interests V stands for the principle of value your partner. (1999, p. 178). God loves and created the family and He created marriage, and wants peace within the family structure and marriage. Many people marry to avoid or escape unpleasantness. But no matter (Parrot ; Parrot, 2006, p. 28) how glorious the institution of marriage it is not a substitute for the difficult work of inner spiritual healing. ” Spirituality- As Christian counselors assessing the spirituality of the clients is vital to building support systems within the relationships.
Also discussing spiritual intimacy is very important component in understanding how to guide couples in understanding each other and their relationship with God. “Spiritual intimacy is feeling that partners experience a sense f unity in things spiritual such as worship, prayer, private devotions, how much they talk about spiritual issues, ways they react emotionally to spiritual things, ways they use their faith to cope with adversity, ways they use religious beliefs and values in daily life and the amount of emphasis they place on religion in their family and in their private life. (Worthington, 1999, p. 232). Having an awareness of the spirituality of your family and spouse can also greatly increase communication, and the relationship with our Heavenly Father. Including your spouse and family in daily evictions, worship and prayer can be a cornerstone to building a better relationship and this can be explored through counseling. “Every successful marriage is the result of two people working diligently and skillfully to cultivate their love. ” (Parrot ; Parrot, 2006, p. 0) Conclusion In conclusion we have seen how the five aspects of this research paper not only interact with one another but counseling as well. As a Christian counselor it is imperative to know about boundaries, communication, anger and forgiveness, resolving conflict, and spirituality and how to address it these issues in sessions with he clients. Understanding the different dynamics of each aspect explore here will improve the skills of the Christian counselor and thus this will be able to be able to be implemented within the relationships of the families and couples.